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Showing posts from August, 2020

Home Truths

WARNING: This post will almost certainly upset/annoy some people and, for once, I make no apology for this. The past few days have resulted in a lot of reflection and soul-searching and have resulted in me reaching a number of sad but, with hindsight, inevitable conclusions. The sex blogging community was one that I was proud to be an active part of. Its ideals of openness, inclusiveness, support and understanding were ones that I admired. The more observant among you will have noticed that the above was phrased in the past tense. This phrasing is very much deliberate. The problem, that I have come to realise and that the past 18 months or so has made increasingly obvious, is that this "community" of ours, while espousing  many noble aims and ideals, is fundamentally flawed. Given that it is a community made up of humans with our capacity for intolerance, for causing pain, to take offence, to victimise, to abuse and to blame others, this was, sadly, an inevitability. I'm

Word For Wednesday - Lustful

Lustful /(ˈlʌstfʊl)/ adjective full of or motivated by lust, greed, or the like. having strong sexual desires; lecherous; libidinous. archaic: vigorous or lusty. It's a feeling; a strong, overwhelming urge that goes beyond simple desire or passion. It is that deep craving, then need to take pleasure from and with another person. When that person is absent, thoughts of what you would do if you had them there in person consume you. When you are together, it is the expression of your desire and hunger for each other. Lust is classically the first of the deadly sins, uppermost in the list of cardinal vices, and perhaps rightly so; for it taps into one of our most basic, primal drives: the urge to mate. Of course, in humans, the vast majority of sexual activity is for recreational rather than reproductive reasons, but that doesn't change the basic drive behind it.  We engage in sex, because we enjoy sex, we revel in the physical, emotional and (possibly depending

Darkness And Exercise

This week we have been given the following nugget from Brene Brown to ponder: Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. As someone who has written openly about their mental health and struggles with depression on many occasions, the concept of " Darkness " is one I am all too familiar with; and that darkness takes many forms. First the is the darkness of mood; that feeling of oppressiveness that shrouds every aspect of my life. It goes far beyond unhappiness, reaching towards despair; a longing for the darkness of oblivion.   Then there is the darkness of thought; the negativity that is never far away. It forms itself in the belief that one is without worth, a failure. It tells us that there is no point trying as we won't succeed and that that will only make us feel worse. It is the ever present thought that we are always wrong, our opinions don't count, that no one even takes our illness seriously (assu


The topic to ponder this week is: Dominants tend to be the “Alpha Male”, and that is why “Dom” is always spelled with a capital, while “sub” is always lowercase. Now, it does seem to be something of an accepted convention, but does that make it true? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it isn't.  I will caveat that by saying that this is simply how I apply this to me. In my stories, I do tend to follow the convention. If the submissive addresses their dominant with terms such as "Sir" or "Master", then I will generally capitalise for the sake of showing it is a D/s relationship I am describing. In my own relationships, however, I'm much less "formal". I've never insisted that someone who has consented to submit to me calls me by any honorific; should they wish to bestow one upon me, that is up to them and they are free to use the appellation that best suits their own needs for the dynamic. Should that person eve