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Showing posts from July, 2020

Word For Wendesday - Weakness

Weakness /week-nis/ noun the state or quality of being weak; lack of strength, firmness, vigour, or the like; feebleness. an inadequate or defective quality, as in a person's character; slight fault or defect. a self-indulgent liking or special fondness, as for a particular thing. an object of special desire; something very difficult to resist. There is a particular quote, often ascribed to Freud, which goes: Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you were trying to be strong too long It's a quote that, while I appreciate the sentiment, I often struggle with; not so much the part about it not being a sign of weakness, but the part about trying to be strong. There is a stigma surrounding depression and mental health issues more generally. Things have improved in the three and a half decades during which I have lived with my condition, but there is still a long way to go. It first manifested when I was around 15/16. I didn&

It's All About Sex

So, the poser for this week from Oscar Wilde, and is: Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. Now, I only really half agree with this; specifically, the " Everything in the world is about sex " bit.  By way of example, many years ago, a female friend and I were enjoying a meal and each other's company in an Italian restaurant. We would go on to further enjoy each other's company afterwards, but that's another story.  A couple of tables over from us, a much younger couple were doing pretty much the same thing as us, and I suspect with similar apr├Ęs-meal inclinations; but again, I digress. They weren't close enough to overhear but it was clear that the air between them was more than slightly flirtatious. This was emphasised when, as tends to happen, the waiter approached with a pepper grinder and, presumably, asked if the meal required seasoning. Words were said, giggles were giggled, the regular sized pepper grinder w

Word for Wednesday - Open

Open /oh-puh n/ adjective not closed or barred noun to become open to afford access My chosen word this week ties in with this week's " Quote Quest " prompt which is: And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~ Sylvia Plath Now, this is something I agree with. As bloggers, and particularly as sex-bloggers, we tend to be open about things (possibly to the point of oversharing sometimes) that many people find uncomfortable discussing.  We talk freely about our turn-ons and turn-offs, we talk about our kinks and fetishes, we discuss our relationships in great and (sometimes literally) painful detail. on the whole, I believe this is a good thing. The thing about being open though, is that it cuts both ways. If you are comfortable expressing your opinions on subjects, you need to be open to the fact that some peop

TMI Tuesday: July 21, 2020 - Random

I haven't done one of these in a very long time, so here goes... What movie can you watch over and over and never tire? I think you can get tired of any movie if you watch it often enough. In my youth, I watched "Restless Natives" (a film about a pair of Scottish "highwaymen" he dress up as a clown and a wolf-man and hold up buses of tourists in the Highlands) so often I could quote it almost verbatim. It really is a mood thing. Films in my "most watched" list tend to be either genre classics like Alien/Aliens or in the "so shit they're brilliant" category like Dodgeball or Kingsmen. Who is someone you only met once but they left a big impression on you? Former Scotland Rugby captain, David Sole. I was amazed how such a "giant" on the field could be such a humble and unassuming guy off it. It was one of those, if I didn't recognise him from his on field performances, I'd probably never even have noticed he was in th

Here's Watching You...

I may have mentioned that I enjoy all aspects of the great outdoors; and when I say "all", that does include having sex . I think it's fair to say I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak (all puns intended), and such activities do, irrespective of whether I'm actually being observed or not, feed that side of my personality. The thing about about al fresco fornication is not that you are being observed, it's the fact that by doing out there in the open , there is the chance that you might be observed. I would go as far as to say that the " near miss " possibly gives more of an edge to the proceedings than actually being caught does. I can only recall one instance where I can, with a reasonable degree of certainty, be certain that I was caught in the act. It was a particular warm, late summer/early autumn afternoon, we were walking through a forest trail somewhere in the Scottish Borders and the mood just came upon us. We left the reasonably we

Under False Colours

This is a follow-up to a post by fellow male blogger/writer Exhibit A following the admission by the blogger, Sorcha Rowan that they are, in fact, a man. Part of the rationale for their actions that "Sorcha" gives is that they felt people would take his work less seriously if the knew it was written by a man. Exhibit A does a good job of debunking the arguments presented, so I'm not going to replicate those here, since my own views largely concur, but I did think I would share the results of an experiment I conducted on Literotica   a number of years ago. I first dabbled in writing erotica because I had read some truly awful male POV erotica on Literotica that might as well have been a description of a man using a sex doll rather than having sex with an actual other person and I was convinced I could do a better job. The result was that I have always tried to make all participants in my scenes be actual humans, regardless of gender; recognising that all partic

"Good" subs Don't Use Safe Words

So, the opinion up for debate is thus: I accept it, if the sub wants a safeword. But a good sub knows that she/he shall not use it. The moment I read it, I wanted to yell at someone. I mean, I kind of get it; the submissive should always feel safe enough in their D/s dynamic that they should probably never feel the need to use it. But to imply that a "good" submissive won't use it takes this too far. Now, I admit I'm coming from this from my own perspective and D/s experience. That is, after all, the only perspective I am qualified to comment on. In any D/s dynamic that I have been involved in, it is true that the submissive has never had to use a safe word with me.  Partially it's because I'm not "that" kind of Dominant; I'm not seeking to take someone to the absolute edge of endurance. For me, a simple "no" or "stop" suffices unless it has been agreed in advance that I should ignore such pleadings. In such a scenar

Who/What Am I?

Dom? Master? Sir? Poly? Currently Celibate? Technically all are terms or labels that could be used, with varying degrees of accuracy. I haven't really been actively involved in the D/s scene for quite a while. It's probably not unreasonable to describe me as being somewhat of a Dominant in nature, but what does "Dominant" mean? Well, of course, it means different things to different people and those who identify as a Dominant will do so in ways they feel apply to them, their particular personality traits, their circumstances and, most importantly, the dynamic of their relationship. I've mentioned this before , but I think it bears repeating because there are still people who peddle all sorts of shite about D/s dynamics but there is no one right way to do D/s . What works for me, may or may not work for anyone else. What works for someone else may or may not work for me. Yes, things like: Discipline, Punishment, Control and Rules may be part of the D


It may, or perhaps may not, come as a surprise to people reading this, that confidence is not a characteristic that I am particularly well endowed with. I can fake it fairly convincingly when the circumstance requires it, but self-belief is not one of my more abundant qualities. I am socially awkward, I can be painfully shy, I detest confrontation and yet, I work in a job that requires me to project an air of efficient competency every day. To say this causes me a lot of stress is an understatement. Keeping a mask on, all day, every day, becomes extremely wearing. Almost perversely, the current COVID-19 pandemic with its required physical distancing has provided me with a certain degree of respite. The people I deal with are now simply on the other end of a telephone call or, when it can't be avoided, a video link. I can let the mask slip a little and it affords me an element of respite. Much of it, as it so often does, comes down to my mental health. Self-doubt al