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Showing posts from September, 2019


A couple of days ago, for the Food 4 Thought meme, I wrote about my particular take on the #MeToo movement. While it cannot be denied that it has, quite rightly, brought the plight of what women have had to endure from male entitlement for far too long out into the open, it doesn’t, I feel, go far enough. I am not for one moment trying to lessen the significance of what #MeToo   seeks to achieve. I applaud the stand that has been taken, meaning that men who abuse women from a position of power can do so with impunity. Anything that fights against the concept of male entitlement cannot be given too much support. The problem is, as I alluded to in that previous post, being a victim of abuse is not simply a women’s issue. The evidence would almost certainly identify the fact that the majority of abuse victims are women, and that the majority of abusers are men, but the sad fact is that women can commit abuse too, and men can very definitely be victims. There is still, sadly, a s

#MeToo v #NotAllMen

I’m not going to make any apologies for the first part of this post, but unqualified gross generalisations are gender neutral. If it’s inappropriate for a man to make an unfounded generalisation about a woman, it stands to reason that the reverse is also true and that it is equally inappropriate for a woman to make such a comment about a man. By way of example, if a man were to say something along the lines of: “women are opportunists who use their sex to trap men into getting what they want from them”, that man would, quite rightly, be called out for such a comment (even in the circumstances where, in that man’s experience, it happens to be true). On the other hand, however, if a woman says: “men are rapists in waiting and only ever after one thing”, woe betide anyone who dares to utter the dreaded “not all men…”, even where, again, in the experience of the woman concerned, what she is saying is factually correct. There is, as there sadly so often is in life, a bit of a doubl

Word for Wednesday - Disconsolate

Disconsolate /dɪsˈkɒnsəlɪt/ adjective sad beyond comfort; inconsolable disappointed; dejected I wouldn’t, perhaps, go as far as saying I’m inconsolable, but “disappointed” and “dejected” are certainly accurate descriptions on my current frame of mind. A log-standing friendship has recently come to an end. It was one that was particularly special to me. I don’t know the reasons behind the other person’s decision to end it and, given that they have blocked me on the various social media channels over which we used to communicate, the chances are I am unlikely to find out. In a way, this underlines the intrinsic fragility of the online friendship, even where there is an “in person/real life” element to it. If one of the parties involved decides to end the friendship/relationship abruptly, they can do so, leaving the other party at a loss to why it has happened. Did I say or do something that hurt them?  I will almost certainly never know; and if I did, I will never


Imagine for a moment that you’ve just eaten an ice cream, or drunk a very cold drink and that you’ve done either of these activities just a little bit too quickly. You will, almost certainly have experienced the “brain freeze” sensation; that sharp momentary pain as your brain tries to process the sudden reduction in temperature.  It’s unpleasant, but it’s one of those slightly amusing unpleasantnesses that are part and parcel of life. We don’t mind them because they are a minor inconvenience and, in this particular case, arise from something that was actually pleasurable. Now, take that sensation, but imagine it applying for no discernible reason. Move its location to just over your right eye. Instead of it being a sensation that lasts a few moments, consider it lasting several hours, possibly days; in the very worst instances, several weeks. If you can imagine that, then welcome to one of my key stress indicators; an early warning that tells me that things are definitely not in

TMI Tuesday: September 17, 2019 - C'est la Vie

C’est la Vie For you happy life = ? + ? + ? I don’t think there is a formula. Life happens and while you can control some aspects of it, other areas you have no control over and they just happen. I’ve suffered from depression for over 30 years, so “happiness” is somewhat relative. So long as I have my health, my family, a roof over my head and food in my stomach, I consider myself to be content. How confident are you that your relationship will last? Not currently in one, so not really relevant. I enter every relationship with a degree of optimism and pessimism. I don’t really plan to far ahead because know one knows what tomorrow will bring or if there will even be a tomorrow. I live mainly in the now and take each day as it happens. Studies show exercise can improve your mood in the moment and play a preventative role for the future. How often do you exercise? What is your exercise? I run a lot; 3-4 times a week, cumulatively covering up to 25-30km each week. It’s usually jus

TMI Tuesday: September 10, 2019 - Do your thang!

Do your thang! Which of these do you do the most with your significant other? List in order of frequency from done the most to performed less frequently. If you don’t engage in any of this with your significant other write N/A (not applicable) a. Eat meals with your significant other without smartphones, tablets, TV or any device. b. Exercise together c. Share a morning kiss that lasts longer than six seconds. If sex counts as exercising together, then absolutely. The morning kiss that, potentially turns into morning sex (see Q3) is also a definite. Meals should always be eaten without external interruption (unless it’s a sexy picnic somewhere secluded). Briefly tell us about a time when things felt helpless but you knew you would pull through. As someone who suffers from depression, feelings of helplessness are part and parcel of my life. For the past 30+ years, I have struggled and ultimately pulled through, even on those occasions where there was a very significant possibility