For me, social media, and in particular twitter has a strange duality. A lot of the time it is my “safe place”; a place where I can joke, flirt, vent, rant and sometimes express things that I can’t elsewhere in my life. It is the place where, when things are at their darkest, I can express (as much as such things can be articulated) the thoughts, feelings and emotions that are at war inside my mind. It is a place where I can, if not banish, I can reveal my demons, hold them up to the light and find the strength to resist them so that I can fight another day.
Twitter gives me that.
Sadly, however, like all coins, it has two sides; like many people, it has two faces. My “safe place” can also be one that triggers, one that upsets and hurts, one that I need to escape from.
I am fortunate in a way that I have always been self-reliant; even when I am at my lowest. When twitter “goes bad” for me, as it inevitably (and, it seems, increasingly) does, I can withdraw, I can retreat into myself, I can “cave up”, close the shutters and ride it out on my own.
This year has mostly been one of withdrawal. The twitter account that accompanies my blog has effectively shut down and only the account that I use for my darker moods is still active and even it is becoming less frequent; not because my moods are improving, but because it increasingly feels like less of a safe place.
I realise that this post has very little to do with this weeks prompt, but it seemed like an appropriate opportunity to let people know where I am currently at.
I can’t say for certain if I will continue to blog here and, if I do, for how long. I still have thoughts that I need to set down, but the sun is almost certainly setting on this corner of the internet.