Skip to main content


Showing posts from March, 2019

#StoryIn12 - March

#StoryIn12 is the creation of   Molly (aka @mollysdailykiss ) and   Wriggly Kitty (aka @Wriggly_Kitty ). Every day,  the #StoryIn12 flash fiction meme on twitter challenges writers to write a “complete” story in exactly 12 words, that includes the prompt word for that day. As many of you are aware, I am a long term sufferer of chronic depression.   I have written a number of posts covering this particular subject under the “ Mind Matters ” tag. This month, I have been attempting to write the majority of my “stories” on the subject of mental health, and linking it to the “ Sex Bloggers for Mental Health – #SB4MH ” project created by Sassy Cat . Here are mine for this month: Unpredictable  – The frequent unpredictable mood swings left countless scars on his tortured soul. Problem  – There are times when even the most insignificant problem can seem overwhelming. Dog  – The black dog walks beside me; an ever faithful if unwanted companion. Common  – The dark moods are


It is, perhaps, one of the most difficult forms of loss to come to terms with; the loss that comes with the betrayal of trust from someone close to you. Friendships and relationships, like all things, have their time and come to an end for many reasons. With hindsight, these endings, while painful and upsetting have a certain inevitability to them. A relationship/friendship that ends as a result of betrayal is particularly hard because it almost always involves someone that you have allowed yourself to get close to and for them to get close to you. It is someone that you have lowered your guard to, someone that you have come to rely upon, someone whose support helps you to survive. When that is turned against you, it can have a devastating effect. It’s not just the loss of the particular person that hurts, it’s the accompanying feelings; not just the betrayal but also the inevitable self-recriminations: “How could I have been so stupid as to trust them?” “Why did I ever le

Guidance And Support

I have mentioned on a number of occasions how much the “One right way…” concept annoys me. The attitude that there is a one size fits all approach to D/s relationships and the dynamics within them displays a level of ignorance and, indeed, arrogance that needs to be challenged whenever and wherever it is encountered. The idea that you need to do X and Y in order to be a “Dominant” or that “Doms” don’t do A and B is, frankly ridiculous. Dominants and submissives are no less human than anyone else; we are all different, we all have our own needs, desires and tastes and we all express or personalities and the D/s aspects of them in our own ways. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: the only right way to do D/s is the way that’s right for you. There is a perception, perhaps somewhat understandably, that D/s is all about pain and punishment and discipline. Certainly the imagery in porn relating to D/s tends to bear this out but the spanking and thrashing, the rosy glow of a

Just A Man

I was brought up with some very conservative and, some might say, old fashioned views and attitudes about how men behaved. Firstly, when it came to women, we looked after them, we held doors open for them, we let the precede us wherever we went and, under no circumstances, did we ever raise a hand to them. Now, some would say those were old fashioned attitudes and others might say they were just simply teaching me good manners. Those behaviours that I learned, still serve me today. I’ll accept that the “not raising a hand” one has caused me some issues down the line. I abhor violence in any form, and domestic violence is abuse, pure and simple. However, in a D/s context, there can be an element of inflicting pain, be it spanking, the use of a belt or some other implement that I’ve always had some difficulty reconciling with the attitudes of my upbringing. I know that there is a world of difference between consensual impact play and abuse, but it still causes me difficulty at times

TMI Tuesday: March 26, 2019 - Do Your Thang!

Do Your Thang! When you have experienced sexual difficulty, how did you overcome it? Bizarrely, I wrote about this for Food For Thought Friday just the other day. In my context, sexual difficulties are simply part of the broader range of difficulties I experience as a result of suffering from depression. They happen, I deal with them, life goes on. For me, it is important to be open about these issues. This is especially true when it comes to sex, as I’m not the only person it affects in that situation. How do you like to reconnect with your significant other? At present I don’t have one to reconnect with, so I’ll leave this one there… “It isn’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.” How do you like to be done? Despite most commonly being the “Dominant” partner in a sexual relationship, I like it when the woman I’m with has the confidence to know what she wants and is comfortable enough to let me know that I’m getting it “right”. While I’m generally the initiator, it is v

Mind And Body

As a very general rule, unless I’m sick or exhausted, in which case the chances of me being up for sex are slim to non-existent, when my mind is in the mood, my body is too. Dropping out of the zone, so to speak, is not really something that has been an issue for me; if anything, where I may sometimes have a problem, is getting in the mood to start with. Again, this has tended to be less of a problem than it could be. The main contributing factor to me being “in the mood” or not is, not at all bizarrely, my mood. Suffering from depression, my mood can vary vastly and without much in the way of warning but, one area where I can count myself luck is that I don’t recall my mood ever changing during sex. After sex, there can sometimes be a come down, and before sex, well, if my mood is low, it’s unlikely sex will happen, but during sex seems to be on of my “safe” times. I’ve always been open about depression and how it, and the medication I take to manage it, can affect my mood an

Still Here

I have, as some of you have noticed and commented on, been rather quiet in recent weeks. It has been over three weeks since I last posted something here. Truth be told, I really don’t have anything much to say. For much of the last month or so, my time has been spent either working, or curled up in darkness, trying to hide away from the world as much as I can. The topic on this week’s “ Sex Bloggers for Mental Health ” is self-harm. For me self-injury has always, perversely, been more psychological than physical. I have never cut or deliberately injured myself in any physical way. I do, however withdraw from the world; I turn inwards, shutting myself off from the support of friends and family, I lose interest in the world around me, I cease to take pleasure from the things I enjoy. My particular form of self-harm is an almost casual form of self-neglect where I stop looking after myself. It isn’t a deliberate action on my part, it is simply a symptom of my withdrawal from