A person’s sex life is very much a journey and not a destination. It is, in a very real sense, a journey of exploration and discovery that can last a lifetime (or as near as makes no difference).
For me, as I suspect is the case for many, my first “sexual discovery” was very much a solo mission. I can’t remember my first wank, lost so far back in the murky depths of what was probably the early 1980s, but it was obviously sufficiently enjoyable that I decided I would do it again. It would, ultimately become one of a number of addictions and “bad habits” that I would develop during the course of that particular decade and, all old wives tales to the contrary, it was one of the ones that wasn’t actually detrimental to my health. (I digress…)
During that decade, I would discover a lot about myself, about sex, about my sexuality, my sexual personality, my likes and dislikes.
I would discover in those geeky, spotty, somewhat greasy haired days that, when it came to girls, I had a particular type and that was any girl who wasn’t actually physically repulsed by me. I would have my first snog, but my hand up a girl’s top and play with her boobs for the first time, slide my hand up her skirt and feel the warm wetness of her cunt for the first time. I would discover what it felt like to have her stroke my cock, first through my clothes, to under my clothes and, ultimately without clothes.
I would see a partner naked for the first time and for them to see me similarly exposed. Someone other than me would be responsible for my orgasm for the first time.
I would discover what it felt like to have her take me in her mouth; to kiss and lick my cock all over, to suck and stroke me until I could no longer contain myself. At the same time I would discover what would be another lifelong vice, the taste of a woman’s cunt.
Eventually I would learn what it felt with to join my body with hers; to feel my cock inside her cunt. Together we would discover then thoroughly explore all of the things that we learned to enjoy together, both to and with each other.
During those early years of my sexual journey I would explore and discover many of the things that are still important to me today, but the discoveries would continue.
Years passed, lives moved on and went their divergent ways; new partners would take their place.
While never recapturing those very first times, with each partner there would be new discoveries. The first, and maybe most important being that different partners are, in fact, different. The way she sucked my cock would be different, the way she liked me to lick her cunt would be different (she may not like doing either), the positions she enjoyed would be different, the circumstances, the locations, the things that turned her on; none of these need necessarily be the same when you are doing them with someone different. With hindsight, it’s obvious, but back then I only had what I knew worked previously to work with.
And still it continues.
The long term relationship and the exploration of how it evolves over time. Trying new things, restraint, blindfolds, punishment, adding a D/s dynamic. Dealing with the eventual break up of that relationship and, after more than a decade of monogamy, finding yourself back on the dating scene, learning the likes and preferences of new partners while maybe, at the same time, rediscovering some pleasures that you’d allowed to fall into disuse in you previous relationship.
And then, finally, exploring twitter and the blogging community and the range of new people that it has introduced to me, both on line and in person. And yes, I’ll admit, I’ve had sex with some of them too and that has also been part of the exploration of who I am.
I’ve been exploring and discovering this thing we call sex for the best part of four decades so far; I hope I have the opportunity to do so for several more to come.