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Showing posts from 2019


I was having a bit of a trawl through my “Search Terms” looking to see what random requests had driven people to my blog and the one that kind of leapt out was “ Hooked On Cunnilingus “. Now, given the the #Food4Thought prompt this week was all about Vice and Indulgence, it seemed somewhat serendipitous . I’ve waxed lyrical on many occasions about my love of this particular activity. During those periods where I am without a regular sex partner, it is probably the thing I miss more than anything else. From the very first time I tasted it, I have been hooked on the flavour of a woman’s most essential essence. Cunnilingus is one of those activities that plays either directly, or in directly on all of the senses . There is, quite obviously the taste and the way it changes, getting richer as her arousal builds, peaking as she reaches climax. So combined with taste is the scent of her; so impossible to avoid breathing in as my tongue explores every fold of her cunt. Then there a

Bangs & Whimpers

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t always achieve orgasm during sex with a partner. The reasons for this are depression and the medication I take to manage it. I can be fully aroused, I can be fully lost in that “moment” where I’m teetering on the brink. I can feel myself approaching that point of no return and then it’s gone. It can be frustrating, but I’ve learned to live with it. It is generally the exception rather than the rule and, let’s be honest, if sex is the cake, orgasm is the icing on it and I’d much rather have cake without icing than no cake at all. Sex is to be enjoyed, reveled in with every sticky, slippery, squelching, slapping lick, thrust, gasp and groan that accompanies two bodies pleasuring each other. Every touch, every kiss, every caress, every lick, every suck, every thrust, hell, every moment is to be savoured and orgasm is simply one (or several) of the moments that combine to make the whole sexual experience. So, have I ever faked an orgasm? Well,


Depression has been an almost constant companion for  over thirty years. For the first dozen (or possibly more) of those, it went undiagnosed; I was simply aware that my mood, which while never especially light, would descend into prolonged dark spells where I would withdraw from the world and become even more reclusive and introverted than I already was. In my teens, it was easy to dismiss this as part of adolescence; responding to hormonal changes, dealing with the stress of exams and getting the grades I needed for university. Once at university, again it was easy to dismiss as just part of the stresses of academic life, combined with a social awkwardness and general shyness I have when I am around people I don’t know. After university, it could easily be ascribed to work related stress, having responsibilities such as a mortgage, and then a family. It took being diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 28 for the depression to finally be recognised for what it was and for

TMI Tuesday: October 29, 2019

You have been separated from your significant other for six months. An attractive, attentive neighbour has paid you flattering attention. It is obvious he/she wishes to take the relationship further. Do you: a. Dismiss him/her, you’re in a committed relationship. b. Continue to flirt, but go no further. c. Fantasize about him/her, but take care of your sexual needs solo. d. Let the affair become physical. I think what needs to be looked at first is the reason behind the separation. If it’s because the relationship has come to an end, then there is no reason to not let things develop as they may. If you are separated by circumstance, e.g. it’s a long distance relationship or the other person spends a significant amount of time away from home due to work, then really it comes down to the dynamic of the relationship. I’ve covered this before , but I have no problem with flirting, and what goes on in my head, really stays in my head. As to whether or not I would allow things to move beyo


A couple of days ago, for the Food 4 Thought meme, I wrote about my particular take on the #MeToo movement. While it cannot be denied that it has, quite rightly, brought the plight of what women have had to endure from male entitlement for far too long out into the open, it doesn’t, I feel, go far enough. I am not for one moment trying to lessen the significance of what #MeToo   seeks to achieve. I applaud the stand that has been taken, meaning that men who abuse women from a position of power can do so with impunity. Anything that fights against the concept of male entitlement cannot be given too much support. The problem is, as I alluded to in that previous post, being a victim of abuse is not simply a women’s issue. The evidence would almost certainly identify the fact that the majority of abuse victims are women, and that the majority of abusers are men, but the sad fact is that women can commit abuse too, and men can very definitely be victims. There is still, sadly, a s

#MeToo v #NotAllMen

I’m not going to make any apologies for the first part of this post, but unqualified gross generalisations are gender neutral. If it’s inappropriate for a man to make an unfounded generalisation about a woman, it stands to reason that the reverse is also true and that it is equally inappropriate for a woman to make such a comment about a man. By way of example, if a man were to say something along the lines of: “women are opportunists who use their sex to trap men into getting what they want from them”, that man would, quite rightly, be called out for such a comment (even in the circumstances where, in that man’s experience, it happens to be true). On the other hand, however, if a woman says: “men are rapists in waiting and only ever after one thing”, woe betide anyone who dares to utter the dreaded “not all men…”, even where, again, in the experience of the woman concerned, what she is saying is factually correct. There is, as there sadly so often is in life, a bit of a doubl

Word for Wednesday - Disconsolate

Disconsolate /dɪsˈkɒnsəlɪt/ adjective sad beyond comfort; inconsolable disappointed; dejected I wouldn’t, perhaps, go as far as saying I’m inconsolable, but “disappointed” and “dejected” are certainly accurate descriptions on my current frame of mind. A log-standing friendship has recently come to an end. It was one that was particularly special to me. I don’t know the reasons behind the other person’s decision to end it and, given that they have blocked me on the various social media channels over which we used to communicate, the chances are I am unlikely to find out. In a way, this underlines the intrinsic fragility of the online friendship, even where there is an “in person/real life” element to it. If one of the parties involved decides to end the friendship/relationship abruptly, they can do so, leaving the other party at a loss to why it has happened. Did I say or do something that hurt them?  I will almost certainly never know; and if I did, I will never


Imagine for a moment that you’ve just eaten an ice cream, or drunk a very cold drink and that you’ve done either of these activities just a little bit too quickly. You will, almost certainly have experienced the “brain freeze” sensation; that sharp momentary pain as your brain tries to process the sudden reduction in temperature.  It’s unpleasant, but it’s one of those slightly amusing unpleasantnesses that are part and parcel of life. We don’t mind them because they are a minor inconvenience and, in this particular case, arise from something that was actually pleasurable. Now, take that sensation, but imagine it applying for no discernible reason. Move its location to just over your right eye. Instead of it being a sensation that lasts a few moments, consider it lasting several hours, possibly days; in the very worst instances, several weeks. If you can imagine that, then welcome to one of my key stress indicators; an early warning that tells me that things are definitely not in

TMI Tuesday: September 17, 2019 - C'est la Vie

C’est la Vie For you happy life = ? + ? + ? I don’t think there is a formula. Life happens and while you can control some aspects of it, other areas you have no control over and they just happen. I’ve suffered from depression for over 30 years, so “happiness” is somewhat relative. So long as I have my health, my family, a roof over my head and food in my stomach, I consider myself to be content. How confident are you that your relationship will last? Not currently in one, so not really relevant. I enter every relationship with a degree of optimism and pessimism. I don’t really plan to far ahead because know one knows what tomorrow will bring or if there will even be a tomorrow. I live mainly in the now and take each day as it happens. Studies show exercise can improve your mood in the moment and play a preventative role for the future. How often do you exercise? What is your exercise? I run a lot; 3-4 times a week, cumulatively covering up to 25-30km each week. It’s usually jus

TMI Tuesday: September 10, 2019 - Do your thang!

Do your thang! Which of these do you do the most with your significant other? List in order of frequency from done the most to performed less frequently. If you don’t engage in any of this with your significant other write N/A (not applicable) a. Eat meals with your significant other without smartphones, tablets, TV or any device. b. Exercise together c. Share a morning kiss that lasts longer than six seconds. If sex counts as exercising together, then absolutely. The morning kiss that, potentially turns into morning sex (see Q3) is also a definite. Meals should always be eaten without external interruption (unless it’s a sexy picnic somewhere secluded). Briefly tell us about a time when things felt helpless but you knew you would pull through. As someone who suffers from depression, feelings of helplessness are part and parcel of my life. For the past 30+ years, I have struggled and ultimately pulled through, even on those occasions where there was a very significant possibility

I'll Tell You Why...

If you aren’t familiar with this site, the content is split into two main sections: Erotic fiction and poetry Thoughts, feelings and opinions The reasons for each section are slightly different. The oldest section is the writing section. I used to read a fair bit of fiction on sites like Literotica and, while a lot of it was good, a lot of it was dire. There was a tendency among the male contributors to make it all very functional and all about the male experience; how hard he fucked her, how tight her cunt felt around his cock, how hard he came (and of course, she always came too from just what he did with his cock). It was formulaic, function, and pretty much anything other than erotic. I was almost certain I could do better, so I gave it a try. The second section is slightly different. Much of what I post on this section does arise from the various memes/prompts that I follow. The fact that I link to those particular prompts means that there is a reasonable likelihoo

Ritual Or Routine?

It wasn’t so much a ritual, more just the way we did things; the days when we were getting together tended to follow a certain pattern.It would start with text messages. All very innocent at first; simply asking how the other was, how their day was going and general chit chat. As the day progressed, and home time grew closer, the tone of the messages would slowly become more flirtatious, increasingly suggestive, progressively more explicit. “I want to taste you” I would send. “I want to suck your cock” she’d reply. “I want to hear you moan” I’d comment. “I want you deep inside me” she’d respond. Back and forth, the message would fly until, finally: “I’m home” she said, “I’m on my way…” my response. I would let myself in; she would be waiting. A welcome kiss that would quickly become more intense would initiate the transition from the textual to the sexual. Lips tasting each other, Hands exploring each other’s bodies; first through, then under clothes. A moan

In Position

I never really give that much thought to the positions that a partner and I adopt during sex. Generally we have a tendency to go with whatever just seems right at the time, and even that is mostly an unconscious choice based on circumstances and what we happen to be doing at that moment. Unless there is some sort of power-play scenario going on where I tell her to “bend over” or “get on her knees”, sex tends to happen in whatever position it happens. In my younger, more limber, days, I did a lot of experimentation with positions. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I tried the entire kama sutra , but I did discover which ones worked for both me and the woman I was with, which ones were fun (if slightly more trouble than they were worth), and which ones just didn’t do it. After that, as can often happen in longer term relationships, we settled on a small number of positions that were the most enjoyable for us and employed them as was appropriate. That’s not to say I don’t have preference

Summer Loving

I admit, I hadn’t thought of summer as being a particular kink; although living in Scotland, summer is often just a Tuesday afternoon in July or August, so perhaps I’ve really had sufficient time to consider it properly in that context. It’s probably fair to say that, thanks to climate change, even here in Scotland, summers have tended to be somewhat warmer in recent years (although I am old enough to remember the summer of 1976). Putting humour, and the more serious topic of climate change to one side for the moment, there is something about the summer and, in particular, the heat that does lend itself to our carnal inclinations. Firstly, it’s possibly a mood thing. Even if the weather isn’t particularly warm or sunny, we have so much more daylight to enjoy; having light still in the sky when you go to bed at 11pm is so very different from and so much nicer than when it’s pitch dark by 3:30pm in the afternoon. That said, having it be full daylight at 4am can be less of a bonu

On The Face Of It

I have mentioned before that I am someone who revels in the sensual  aspects of sex . When it comes to enjoying sex, a big part of my pleasure comes from experiencing the pleasure of my partner. Her pleasure can, of course, be expressed in a manner of ways: the way her hands grip me, the way her cunt tightens and squeezes my cock as I move it inside her, the sounds she make as she vocalises her sensations, the changes in her breathing as she moves from arousal, through to climax.  All of these things let me know that she is (hopefully) enjoying what we are doing together. I am, however, a very visual person. One of the things that adds to my overall enjoyment of sex, is being able to see my partner’s face. More specifically, it’s the changes of expression, some almost imperceptible that do it. It’s the quiver of her lips, and the way her tongue wets them. The way her eyes roll and her eyelids tremble. It’s those little fine lines. It’s the slight flaring of her nostrils as she breathes

Word for Wednesday - Complication

Complication /kom-pli-key-shuhn/ noun a condition, event, etc, that is complex or confused the act or process of complicating a disease or disorder arising as a consequence of another disease something that introduces, usually unexpectedly, some difficulty, problem, change, etc. that complicates or frustrates – e.g. her coming was a serious complication the act of forming a unified idea or impression from a number of sense data, memories, etc. When it comes to sex, mental health issues can cause complications for a number reasons. Firstly, sex, and the enjoyment of sex, is often a product of mood. When your mood is low, there is a good chance that you neither feel sexy nor sexually inclined. Even if you do manage to summon up enough “oomph” to get down to it, the chances are it won’t be nearly as enjoyable as it would be if you were firing (mentally) on all cylinders and, as I’ll go into in more detail later, the firing (or otherwise) of one particular physical “cylinder”

TMI Tuesday: July 23, 2019

Why are you single? Mainly just because I am. I’m between relationships. I’m between partners. I’m between friends with benefits. The person with whom I form my next relationship has yet to reveal themselves to me, nor I to them. Why are you married or in your current monogamous relationship? Given my answer to Q1, this one is clearly not applicable. Is polyamory something you want? It is something I have had in the past, and I enjoyed it. I would be open to it happening again in my future, but it’s not something I am currently seeking. What is the gender of your best friend? Female. The overwhelming majority of my friends are female. What do you think is the worst thing about being male? This may seem a bit of an unusual answer. There are things like my shorter life expectancy, the greater likelihood of succumbing to certain cancers or perhaps losing my battle with my mental health. Those are all things about being male that are less than great.  For me, however, it is somet

The Social Media Duality

For me, social media, and in particular twitter has a strange duality. A lot of the time it is my “safe place”; a place where I can joke, flirt, vent, rant and sometimes express things that I can’t elsewhere in my life. It is the place where, when things are at their darkest, I can express (as much as such things can be articulated) the thoughts, feelings and emotions that are at war inside my mind. It is a place where I can, if not banish, I can reveal my demons, hold them up to the light and find the strength to resist them so that I can fight another day. Twitter gives me that. Sadly, however, like all coins, it has two sides; like many people, it has two faces. My “safe place” can also be one that triggers, one that upsets and hurts, one that I need to escape from. I am fortunate in a way that I have always been self-reliant; even when I am at my lowest. When twitter “goes bad” for me, as it inevitably (and, it seems, increasingly) does, I can withdraw, I can retreat into

TMI Tuesday: June 25, 2019

How many sexual partners do you currently have? None. I counted them twice just to make certain. Do you have any sexy secret kinks you have not told a current lover, and why are you so secretive? A. I don’t want to do my kinks with my current partner B. Partner would be shocked C. Partner may get upset D. I have no secrets I refer you to the answer to Q1 above. That said, I’ve always been open about my sexual tastes and desires with partners as I believe that communication and openness is key to fulfillment in any aspect (not just the sexual aspect) of a relationship. Have you ever been naked in public? (e.g., nude beach, nudist camp, randomly) A. Yes – loved it B. Yes – but would not do it again C. No – but would consider it D. No – would not ever do that Many times on beaches, particularly in Greece. It wasn’t a nudist beach per se, but the dress-code was very definitely “optional”. Would happily do it again. It’s one of those things but it loses its shock value and isn’t sexua

TMI Tuesday: June 18, 2019 - Love is love, is everything to me

Love is love, is everything to me Love is made of many components. What are your top three components of love? For me, I think companionship, compassion empathy and the various forms of intimacy (physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual) are all hugely important elements of love. I’m not sure that any of them are more important than the other, but they combine in different ways, under differing circumstances to change, grow, evolve and, sadly sometimes, wither. For you what is good sex, and what is great sex? Good sex is pretty much any sex that isn’t bad. Yes, I know that’s a bit of a cop out, but you know what I mean. It’s sex that satisfies the basic need but that is also,enjoyable, it’s fun, it feels good, it makes you smile on the inside. Great sex is something much more; it consumes and drains you. It satisfies you in the very core of your being. It’s more than just the intensity of the release, it’s sex that makes the very essence of your being resonate. In long-term

Spreading Some Blog Love

To start, I am going to recognise the outstanding contribution of three absolutely amazing women whose commitment and dedication to the sex blogging community goes way above the call of duty. I am, of course speaking about  Molly Moore ,  Marie Rebelle , and  Kayla Lords . Without the sheer hard work that they put into their own blogs, memes and other projects, and the support they show other bloggers, it’s almost impossible to imagine what this community would look like without them.  I really don’t need to tell you anything about their particular blogs, because I am certain that everyone reading this will be more than familiar with their work. I hate having to restrict myself to 5 blogs, so the above is a bit of a cheat, but here are 5, in no order,  that I enjoy (other blogs are available…) Girl on the Net – One of the first blogs I ever followed. It’s fresh, it’s frank, it’s filthy and it’s funny. GoTN’s heartwarming honesty will have tears of laughter and pain rolling down

TMI Tuesday: May 7, 2019 - Masturbation Month

May is Masturbation Month .  Can one masturbate too much? I suppose it may be theoretically possible, but it’s not something that I’ve ever experienced. For me, masturbating at all would be more notable. Do you masturbate daily? See previous question. 30 odd years ago, this would have been a resounding “Fuck yeah! And twice at the weekends.” These days, I genuinely can’t remember the last time I did. It was probably some time during 2018, but don’t try and hold me to an actual date. Do you masturbate significantly more than you have sex with another person? A. Yes B. No Personally, I don’t think so. In my active masturbating days, being in a relationship and having sex with them didn’t really affect how often I got myself off. Nowadays, if I have sex, it’s with someone else, not myself. Can you go one week without masturbating? A. Yes B. No C. Only if I could have sex at least every other day See previous answers. So far I’ve gone without it for all of this year, stretching

Fantasy Fucks And Random Encounters

I am, generally speaking, not much given to fantasising. I don’t really go in for the “celebrity crush” thing. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t some celebrities that I find attractive, but finding someone attractive and “fancying” someone in a sexual way are two entirely different things. In as much as I do fantasise about people, I focus on “real” people. I don’t mean that celebrities aren’t real people, but just that I only know them by their celebrity personae, and the characters they portray. They aren’t real to me in any tangible way. The people I fancy are in my everyday life. I’ve had the occasional unrequited “thing” for a co-worker, there was one of my son’s teachers in primary school, there have been the women who have served me in shops and pubs, people I’ve sat across from on trains, or in cafes. Some of those women have been known to me, and know me; others were strangers to me. They all had at least two things in common: They existed in my everyday life; and I