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It's Not All About Intercourse

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFridayI’ve never had a sexual relationship where intercourse wasn’t (ultimately) the predominant sexual activity that was undertaken. That “ultimately” is in there because there is one very slight technical exception to that) rule; that being what was my first sexual relationship.

When I say that, it’s not that the girl in question and I didn’t have sexual intercourse, we did; it’s just that we built up to it gradually, exploring each other’s bodies with fingers, lips and tongues before, many months later, discarding our virginities together.

In that respect, it started off as a “hands-only” sexual relationship. We moved from simply snogging to hands on top of clothes, to hands under clothes and, ultimately, the removal of clothes. The very first time she brought me orgasm was by rubbing me through my boxer shorts.

That was a very important stage of my sexual education; learning to touch, learning how I liked to be touched and, above all, learning how to communicate what I liked and discover what she liked. Those, especially the latter, were lessons that have stayed with me from partner to partner. My touch may now be more assured than it was back during those first furtive fumblings, but it still doesn’t mean I can take it for granted that a partner may enjoy having me do something simply because another partner did. Nor, for that matter, should I be shy about letting a partner know what does, or doesn’t really work for me.

The Oral Sex ProjectAlmost as night follows day, our mouths followed our hands, and soon we were kissing and licking as well as stroking and caressing. Just as we had grown bolder with where we had put our hands and fingers,  so we became braver with what we did with our lips and tongues.

Our relationship had moved to another level. Where once we had relied on stroking and fingering to bring each other to orgasm, we now added licking and sucking to the growing range of skills we were acquiring. My passion for cunnilingus stems right back to almost the very beginning of my sexual journey, and my enjoyment of getting my cock sucked goes back almost precisely as far.

It’s fair to say we revelled in our new-found favourite pass-time. She stroked and sucked my cock at every opportunity and I returned the compliment just as often as the situation allowed me too.

As I mentioned above, we would eventually “go all the way” together, but it would take more than 18 months from the first time we did more than “just kiss” to get that far. Once we’d discovered intercourse it would become the “ultimate” form of sexual expression that we enjoyed, the final act in a performance that took in everything else that we’d learned. Stroking, fingering, licking and sucking may have found themselves consigned to the “foreplay” category, but it didn’t make them any less important or enjoyable. Even at that early age and relative inexperience, fucking was something to enjoy alongside and not instead of everything else, and our “best” sex always involved elements of everything we’d learned to enjoy.