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Sexual Friendships

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFridayI have one “Golden Rule”: never fuck friends.

That probably needs a bit of qualifying since, as it stands, it tends to imply that I only ever fuck people I don’t particularly like, and that is not the case.

A little background…

The vast majority of my closest friends are, and always have been female. For whatever reason, I prefer the company of women over my own gender. It’s not that I don’t have good male friends, because I do, but my closest friendships have, almost without exception, been women. I will admit that over the years, sometimes I may have wished for there to have been a bit more than platonic friendship; there have definitely been instances, in both directions, where there have been unrequited “feelings” (in at least one case, the feelings were actually requited, but neither of us actually had the courage to admit it until 20 odd years later…), but as for anything sexual happening, that has always been a big no-go area for me.

Actually, that’s not entirely strictly the truth; I have quite a few friends (one or two that I include – now at least – as being some of my closest friends) that I have had sex with but, the key thing is, in these cases, the sex happened first, the friendship grew out of there being more than just physical/sexual attraction and, what is possibly more important.

For me, the direction of “travel” can only ever be one way: a fuck-buddy can become a friend with benefits and, when the “benefits” run their course a  deep, lasting friendship can remain. A friend however, however, can never become a friend with benefits/fuck buddy.

I have only once come close to breaking this rule. The woman involved was the person that “inspired” this particular post. Circumstances, and distance meant that we never actually did fuck (although in the context of an online-only relationship, you could say that we did “have sex”. The consequences of that slip-up have already been written about and, only serve to reinforce my long stated belief that you should never fuck a friend.