Skip to main content

Like They Do On The Discovery Channel...

Kink Of The WeekI have mixed feelings towards sex from behind; both pro and con. That being the case, let’s get the “bad stuff” out of the way first.

I am a very touchy-feely kind of person; I love the sensation of skin touching skin and feeling my partner’s body against mine. I am very tactile.

My problem with “doggy-style” is that, by and large, the only skin contact is between the front of my thighs and the back of hers, and between my hands and whichever part of her body they are on at a given moment.  While rear entry lends itself to fast, hard, deep, rough, energetic fucking, it does lack somewhat in the area of tender/gentle intimacy that face-to-face positions can provide. I’m not saying fucking someone from behind isn’t intimate, it’s just a somewhat more direct form of intimacy.

Now, as Molly has opened this topic up more broadly to any form of penetration from behind, rear-entry spooning, whilst lying on your side can tick off some on the closeness and skin contact boxes, but depending on the relative sizes and shapes of the protagonists, and the alignment (or otherwise) of their naughty bits, this is a position that can be great for snuggling, but not that great for actual fucking.

So, clearly, for me if not for everyone, rear-entry sex has its limitations.

On the other hand, it does also have a lot going for it.

It is a great position for a quickie. Whether it be when you’re getting ready to go out, you’re in another room when you have guests, or you are somewhere outdoors where speed is of the essence, it is ideal. As it can be done standing up, you don’t need to find a comfortable/clean/dry location. All that is needed is a modicum of privacy, something against which she can brace herself and, before you know it, all you need is Hoppípolla by Sigur Rós as a soundtrack and a voice-over from Sir David Attenborough and you could be making your own natural history documentary.

It doesn’t have to be, but rear-entry sex often tends to be hard and rough. When I’m fucking a partner from behind I am in full control of the force, depth and speed of my thrusts. I can reach round to play with her clit, or forward to play with her boobs as I fuck her. I can spank her arse, I can grab a handful of her hair and pull her head back as my cock pounds her cunt (or arse). I can guide her into slightly different positions so that my cock stimulates different parts of her vaginal walls. As climax approaches, I can grip her hips in my hands, pulling her on to me as I begin to lose control.

Of course, it’s not all about me. In a D/s setting, the woman being on her knees can often be seen as a submissive position. However, just because it is submissive, does not mean it is passive. Unless she is firmly restrained (it can happen), she can move; pushing her hips back to meet my thrusts. If she wants she can reach back to play with her clit or stroke my balls. She can position herself to enjoy and control the depth and angle of penetration; guiding my penis to where she wants it.

As with so many things, it all comes down to circumstances and what I and my partner are in the mood for. If it’s slow, gentle, tender, intimate sex that we are in the mood for, we’re probably going to it in another position. If we’re in the mood for something a bit harder/rougher, or if there is a need for urgency, then doggy/rear-entry will almost certainly feature.