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Dominant Language & The BDSM Test

So, the other night, I was chatting to a friend about the language I use in my stories. More specifically, I was discussing the language used in my stories by which the Dominant addresses his submissive. In some stories, the Dominant will use harsh terms like  “slut” or “whore”; whereas in others, the Dominant will address his submissive in softer, endearing  terms, e.g. “little one”.

Now, in real life, I favour the latter approach myself. I’m not averse to using “derogatory” terms if the situation merits it. Certainly, in my writing, I try to match the language to dynamic of the scene that is unfolding.

In real life, however, I am a bit of a big softie. For me, the role of the Dominant is to cherish, guide and support his submissive, helping him or her to grow and fulfil themselves. Yes, that can involve discipline, but where it does, such discipline should be proportionate and never just for discipline’s sake. It needs to be part of a lesson, part of the instruction, the direction that a Dominant provides his/her submissive with to help them grow and develop.

Submission does not mean weakness. A submissive can be strong and confident, and a good Dominant helps build this in their submissive.

Ultimately, as I have said before, It’s about respect. The Dominant nurtures, guides and cherishes their submissive and the submissive “rewards” their Dominant with their submission and by placing their trust in them.

Anyway, one suggestion that came out of these chats was that I try the “BDSM test“, which I duly did, and the accompanying chart shows my results.

The results weren’t too much of a surprise to me. Given my  generally relaxed attitude towards nudity, I expected the “Exhibitionist” score to be quite high. What I didn’t expect was for “Rigger” to be at top the list as, actually, restraint rarely features in my sexual arsenal. I was also a bit surprised at how highly “Daddy” scored as I will admit that it has always been a term that I’ve been more than a little uncomfortable with, but if it relates to caring, supporting and nurturing, them I kind of understand how it got there. I do wish they’d used a different term, but that’s just my own particular foible.

Everything else was pretty much as I expected; although I would have considered myself to be a bit more experimental than the results seem to suggest.

Despite my use derogatory language in my writing, I wasn’t at all surprised that “Degrader” actually scored a resounding zero.

So there you go, a very brief insight into the random inner workings of my mind. Make of it what you will.

KW

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