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Utter bollocks

I came across this recently. Apparently it’s a fairly common meme with numerous variations on the same theme.  Thing is, bollocks like this really pisses me off; not least of all because it is precisely that: utter bollocks.

Let me explain…

I’ve given flowers. They are a gesture. Sometimes they are a “thank you”, sometimes they are a “sorry”; mostly they mark a specific occasion like a birthday, a wedding, a funeral, that sort of thing.  I have never given flowers in the expectation of, or in thanks for sex.

Now, some of you who give blow-jobs may, on occasion, give them as a “thank you” or a “sorry”; if that’s your thing, that’s cool. Whatever works is fine.

The Oral Sex ProjectTo me, however, flowers are flowers and blow-jobs are blow-jobs. If you want to give me flowers, fine; if you want to give me a blow-job, even better. Actually, given that I have an insufferably low pollen tolerance threshold, if you were inclined to give me flowers, I’d rather you saved your money or gave me a card/bought me a drink/gave me a blow-job instead; but that really is beside the point.

Surely, if fellatio is “flowers” for men, then cunnilingus must, for the sake of universal balance, be “flowers” for women. All this begs the question: What the fuck are flowers “flowers” for?

Not only that, although I may not be one of them for the reason mentioned above, there are some men who actually quite like getting flowers as well as getting blow-jobs.

It all falls into the same category of bollocks as the whole "Real Men/Women/Doms/subs Do…" thing, and it irks the fuck out of me.

Now, I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking: "well hold on there Mr. Wooks, it’s just meant as a bit of fun, lighten up"; and I accept you are right.

It doesn’t mean that it’s not utter bollocks though, however humorous it’s trying to be.

KW

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