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Showing posts from September, 2017


It’s not just about the pain that it inflicts on the receiver; although that can be a big part of it sometimes, it is about so many other things. Firstly, it’s about trust. It’s the trust that the receiver has in you, knowing that you are going to cause pain, but trusting you to keep it to what is acceptable. It’s about exploring boundaries. Linked in with the trust mentioned above, there is the exploration of limits, of taking things that little bit further, of pushing the person on the receiving end to take that little bit more and, for them, trying to determine their own levels of endurance. It’s about the senses. There is something animal, something primal about the sound of skin striking skin. There is something about that particular sound of hand coming into contact with buttock that has an electric feel about it; it echoes and reverberates in a way that is uniquely alone. There are the moans and cries of the receiver as the pain and the heat grow with each contact,

TMI Tuesday - Relationships

Relationships Why would you go to a therapist? a. You need support b. You want to take responsibility for your life’s outcomes? c. You need guidance and to be told what to do I have been to a therapist/counsellor because of my depression. I went because I need some extra support. I needed to discuss what was in my head with someone on the outside, who wasn’t directly involved or affected by my moods. Seeking help was a way of taking back some element of control when my depression had dragged me down to the very bottom. Thinking of the main lover in your life, what is sex for her: a. stress relief, tension reliever b. a way to show love c. something exciting she likes to do I would think that it is a combination of all three to some extent, but primarily it would be something that she enjoys doing and wants to do. The fact that it is me that she wants to do it with is something I never take for granted. Do you feel a partner is being invasive for wanting to know your pla

TMI Tuesday - A Good Week To Have A Good Week

It’s A Good Week To Have A Good Week What is your reality? On account of my depression, I tend to live very much in the here and now. That’s not to say I don’t make plans for the future, but they do tend to be more in the form of short to medium-term goals rather than long-term aspirations. I try to avoid the past as much as I can.  There are lots of bad things in there, and nothing I can do will change or eliminate them. Will you have sex today? This week? I have already had sex today and I can’t completely rule out the possibility that I might have sex again today at some point. If I don’t, I’d kind of hope that I will have sex again at some point this week.  That said, if it ends up that it doesn’t happen, that’s life… What did you hate doing this past weekend? I spent a large part of this weekend doing some very unpleasant but extremely necessary filing. What did you love doing this past weekend? I spent a large part of Sunday morning having some pretty damned good sex.

The Trouble With "Lady Parts"

I have a problem with “lady parts”.  Not the actual parts themselves, of which I am particularly fond; more the fact that you lot have so bloody many of them. Now, don’t get me wrong; I love each and every one of them. I love they way you react when I touch, kiss, lick and fuck them. It’s just that, as a " writer ", trying to describe them is a nightmare. We guys are pretty simple. On our chests, we have nipples; that’s pretty much it. You lot though… I mean yes, you have nipples and they respond in various wonderfully delightful ways, but you also have boobs.  Now I’m certainly not knocking your knockers; anyone who knows me knows how much I love them, but when it comes to writing they are another bit (or is that bits?) that have to be considered. Part of the biggest problem is what to actually call them? Boobs, tits, breasts, norks, knockers, funbags (OK, so I have never, ever used the term funbags in erotica); you get my drift… And if that weren’t bad enough, don’t

Oral Sex - The Be And End All?

So, this teaser was posted on Twitter recently: Would you stay in a sexual relationship if oral sex was totally off the table” At a first glance, this seems like a very simple question, but give it some thought, and there are all sorts of ramifications behind it. Firstly, there is the nature and context of the “ sexual relationship ” itself. For me, sex is about what pleases both partners. If the sex was part of a deeper emotional relationship, then the absence of oral sex possibly wouldn’t really be a factor. If that were the deal breaker within the relationship, then it would have to be in a pretty bad place to begin with. A good sex life is an important factor in a committed relationship, but it is  only one factor. There are so many other things that are equally or more important, such us the emotional support you give each other. So, in this context, if oral sex was off the cards and, assuming every other aspect of the relationship (including the actual sexual act

Déjà vu

It’s that feeling of inevitability. It’s that certainty that I’ve been here before. It’s the certain knowledge that I will almost certainly be here again. It’s that “almost” that is the only real unknown. The optimistic among you might recognise the outside possibility that maybe, just maybe, this will be my last ever bout; that somehow my internal brain chemistry will sort itself out and that I will be “cured”. I’m prepared to admit that the possibility exists; history and experience tells me that this is almost certainly not the likely outcome. There are no good things about a depressive episode. There is one thing that if familiar in its uncertainty. Every episode, every plunge into the depths of darkness is accompanied by that nagging doubt; is this the one? Is this the episode that I don’t pull through? Is this the one where it finally becomes too much, I lose the will to keep fighting, and give up? I never know. I tell myself that that won’t happen; that I w