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The Myth Of The Perfect Blow-Job

#MasturbationMondayI am a guy and I will admit, quite unashamedly, that I love having my cock sucked. I’m going to go all “typically male” here and say that in the almost thirty years since I received my first blow-job, I’ve never had a bad one.
They aren’t the only women to have written on this subject, but, both Malin James and Girl on The Net, two bloggers that I hold In the highest regard  have written excellent articles on the subject of blow-jobs from a female perspective, and I thought I’d throw in my thoughts on the subject from my own male point of view.

Now, as I said above, I love having my cock sucked. Whether it be as part of foreplay, or an event in its own right; whether it be slow and leisurely, or hard and fast; each and every blow-job that I have ever had has been something to savour and enjoy for the experience itself.

When my cock is being sucked, in so much as I am able to think of anything at all, the two things that I am “thinking” are, generally how grateful I am that the woman I’m with has chosen to wrap her lips around my cock and take it into her mouth and, how much I’m enjoying it. I am most certainly not giving you a mark out of ten, I am not awarding points for artistic interpretation or technical merit, there is no tariff for difficulty. Neither, for that matter, am I comparing the person currently (hopefully) enjoying my cock with any other person, nor indeed (assuming the woman in question has sucked me before) am I comparing it with any other blow-job she has given me. There is no “Fantasy Blow-Job League” title that needs to be competed for. I am simply enjoying the experience of having my cock attended to by her mouth.

Now, it goes without saying, that the only person (and the only cock) I can speak about with any authority is me (and mine). What works for me and my cock may not work for another guy and theirs. I do not hold myself out as being in anyway representative of my gender and my particular likes and dislikes are my own.  But that is very much the point. It is a point that certain magazines with their “How to give the perfect blow-job” or “10 things to do with your mouth that will blow him away” articles spectacularly manage to miss. We are all different; every man, every woman, every cock, every mouth. Let’s even go one stage further here and say, every blow-job is different; each made unique by the circumstances and setting in which it is performed and the mood, needs and desires of the performer and performee.  The problem with these articles is that they assume we are all the same and that there is some magical “One Right Way” to do things, which is, of course, a total and utter load of horse manure. I’m pretty sure that no one who has ever written one of these pieces of sage advice has ever sucked my cock, so how the hell do they know how I like to have it sucked, and what right have they to tell anyone that if they suck it in a certain way, it’s guaranteed to be the best, most intense blow-job that I have ever had?

The Oral Sex ProjectThat’s not to say that there are certain things that I like to have done to my cock that will turn me on more than others; we all have our preferences, we all have our unique pleasure spots and things that we like to have done to them.  The chances are, no one going down on me for the first time is going to get this 100% “right”. How could they? They don’t know what I like other than the general, he’s a guy, he’s probably going to enjoy getting his cock sucked. Nor would I expect them to know.

The key, as with all things sex, is communication. Generally, the sounds I make will let you know I’m enjoying it, but I’m not adverse to giving occasional feedback. You know, the “That thing you did with your tongue just there, would you mind doing it again?” or “A bit harder/faster” or even sometimes “Please slow down a bit” kind of thing.

It’s not a performance. It’s not a test of skill. It’s an act of giving and receiving pleasure and of enjoying the experience, whether as the giver or the receiver. Practice may not necessarily make perfect, but it does give both partners a deeper understanding of what works for them.

Fuck the glossy magazines and their intensely patronising “Top 10 Tips For Fantastic Fellatio”. What do they know? If you want to blow my mind, just do what comes naturally and enjoy it. Surely that’s what it’s really all about.

KW

Comments

  1. This is just SO true:
    "It’s not a performance. It’s not a test of skill. It’s an act of giving and receiving pleasure and of enjoying the experience, whether as the giver or the receiver. Practice may not necessarily make perfect, but it does give both partners a deeper understanding of what works for them."

    Thank you for sharing :)
    ~ Marie

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