Most of you will no doubt be aware that I am “moderately” hirsute, to say the least. I have been shaving (my face) regularly since I was 12/13. My beard, such as it is, grows in pretty quickly and quite thick.
I have, possibly surprisingly, only ever grown a beard twice in my life, both times for charitable causes, and both times I couldn’t wait to get rid of the bloody thing.
Some men can grow a beard with relative impunity, others can’t. I fall most definitely in the “can’t” category.
For one thing, it doesn’t suit me. I really don’t have the right sort of chin (or, since I’m being honest, chins) for it. There is also the fact that, despite being dark haired, it used to grow in with ginger streaks in it. The ginger bits have now been replaced with silver, so I’ve gone from looking like a raccoon to a badger.
But then there is the itch. It starts after about 4/5 days and no matter how long I endure it, it just doesn’t diminish, and so, out comes the razor. Of course, I have very pale, sensitive, Celtic skin, and shaving irritates the fuck out of it. In my late teens and early 20s, when the job I did involved being in the presence of the public, I used to shave daily and I had an almost permanent combination of 5 o’clock shadow and shaving rash that was the worst of both worlds, no mater how well I moisturised.
Now, I tend to just tidy myself up twice a week. My skin is never really smooth because one side of my face has started regrowing before I’ve completed shaving the other side. It is almost the facial grooming equivalent of painting the Forth Bridge.
Apparently, however, my prickliness, while making kissing me a bit uncomfortable, does have its “advantages” when I’m going down on a woman. I guess then, being a walking lint brush isn’t all bad.